Speaking of “Transformers”, saw the movie, and first gut reaction –

“Wow, this totally doesn’t suck.”

Followed by –

“Starscream is freakin’ awesome! YEAAHHHH!”

So Michael Bay did not butcher my childhood. Whew. Good to know there is at least one 80s icon that Hollywood cannibalized but in a good way. I now entrust them with all sequels. And there WILL be sequels – you can see the word FRANCHISE fly across the screen. Along with product placements for Hasbro, Burger King, XM Satellite, GMC…

Yes, Transformers is a thin veil for toys and mass consumerism, but it was OUR mass consumerism dang it. And I loved every minute of it. I mean come on, it’s robots that can turn into tanks. And cars. And jeeps. And dinosaurs! Robot dinosaurs! Best. Idea. EVER. If they put this in the sequel, man that will be sweet.

But the thing itself is nearly overshadowed by the crazed fans OF the things. OMG people are nuts. Type in “Transformers” into Google or wikipedia, and you will find pages, of pages, of, I kid you not, TRIBUTES to the characters. Really indepth tributes. Scary in their knowledge.

Exhibit A – the Soundwave Tribute Page.

http://www.plumed-serpent.com/favorite.html

Now I love Soundwave as much as the next child of the 80s, but I ain’t writing a tome on the boy. I mean, this person knows about Soundwave’s MOM. Did you know he had a mom? Neither did I! Good grief these folks are nuts!

Exhibit B – The Allspark. On eBay. eBay! You too can have a piece of Cybertron history for only –wait for it–$40K!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200126643272

Yeah the money goes to charity, but who the heck buys this stuff? (Actually my question is really, – how big is it? Judging by the $14.95 shipping price, it’s like, Rubix Cube size!
Human size would be kind of cool. Rubix size is just kinda lame.

Exhibit C – Cracked’s “7 Most Useless Transformers Ever.”

http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=2175

Unlike the last two exhibits, this one is funny Ha-ha, not funny sad. And funny it is. (Sorry Perceptor, but you really are useless. Nifty, but useless.)

Makes me wonder, who are these people? And how did they amass such pointless knowledge? And will they be part of my fan base when “Xia” comes out? I sincerely hope so. Because seeming people in jogtha suits would be awesome.

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